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Topic: Fighting (Read 67 times) previous topic - next topic

Fighting
My six year old DD and nine year old DS fight really badly. They're always getting in each other's faces and bothering each other or fighting over things.

I'm tired and exhausted and feel worn down with their constant bickering and all the screaming they do when they chase each other around. My husband always tells me that I let the kids get away with too much, but I'm really at a loss with how to enforce some things.

Any suggestions on how to get fighting stopped quickly?
~Ruth, wife to Tim since 11/6/05 and WAHM to Hannah (11), Micah (9), and Abigail (6)

  • jen1981
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Re: Fighting
Reply #1
Seperating them. If they start in, one goes to one room, one goes to the other until they are ready to be nice.  If they come out and start again, back they go. If there is behviour things with either of them- one picking on the other- then that has to be addressed individually. But for general bickering, off they both go.  I know as a mom, when we are there all day, it's easy to not pick up on bad behaviour until it gets really bad. For me, it really helped to step back and find the source of the problem. Was there jealousy, one perpetually disrespecting the property of the other, etc. Then watch for that behaviour and stop it immediately before it escalates. 
Married to Andrew since Jan.2001, mom to Keith~Nov. 2001, Elayne~Dec. 2003, Eleanne~May 2006, Elysha~2009

  • Jessy
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Re: Fighting
Reply #2
My boys typically get along but they do go through stages where they bicker and fight more often, almost like they're just trying to annoy each other? I finally figured out that it's usually because they've been around each other too much. They are together a lot since we homeschool and they're often involved in the same activities.  It usually improves after some time apart. I don't know if that's the case with your kiddos but maybe try giving them a break from each other? It's hard to identify the root of the problem sometimes and that's half the battle!

  • Melinda
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Re: Fighting
Reply #3
I separate mine and make them write 5 things (or more depended on age) on why they love their brother(well sibling I only have boys lol) I don't have them share it, I guess you can make them but I tell mine it's confidential just between me and them mainly because it's to remind them how much and why they love their sibling, if they can't think of 5? Then they have to spend time finding it, like 1. I really enjoy when you read with me 2. I like it when we play that game together etc sometimes I ask them to write a few things they would like to tell them on what bothers them again I tell them it's confidential and for them to be serious(no because you're dumb and annoying etc), and a lot of times I find out why they are bickering so much, like I no longer like you to help me with my homework because when I don't understand something you call me stupid(which explains why yelling match happens during homework time) and then I watch these areas to see if it's something I happen to be missing what's really going on etc, it's always helped them to remember why they love their brother and why they enjoy being around them, they always go through this phase where they do get tired of each other and can't stand being in the same room but it always passes and they become good friends again, but I always look for ways to hurry  that phase lol
Mom to 7 boys (16,13,10,8,4,2yr and 6wks) and several late 1st trimester losses,

  • jen1981
  • [*][*][*][*][*]
  • Administrator
Re: Fighting
Reply #4
Great idea, Melinda!
Married to Andrew since Jan.2001, mom to Keith~Nov. 2001, Elayne~Dec. 2003, Eleanne~May 2006, Elysha~2009

Re: Fighting
Reply #5
I separate mine and make them write 5 things (or more depended on age) on why they love their brother(well sibling I only have boys lol) I don't have them share it, I guess you can make them but I tell mine it's confidential just between me and them mainly because it's to remind them how much and why they love their sibling, if they can't think of 5? Then they have to spend time finding it, like 1. I really enjoy when you read with me 2. I like it when we play that game together etc sometimes I ask them to write a few things they would like to tell them on what bothers them again I tell them it's confidential and for them to be serious(no because you're dumb and annoying etc), and a lot of times I find out why they are bickering so much, like I no longer like you to help me with my homework because when I don't understand something you call me stupid(which explains why yelling match happens during homework time) and then I watch these areas to see if it's something I happen to be missing what's really going on etc, it's always helped them to remember why they love their brother and why they enjoy being around them, they always go through this phase where they do get tired of each other and can't stand being in the same room but it always passes and they become good friends again, but I always look for ways to hurry  that phase lol

I did some thing simaler to this when my foster kids fought. I had them write three nice things and share it with each other.
I also had the kids write their side of what happened down, kinda like an essay.
Kay
    Bride to DH since May 16, 1998
    Daughter May 14, 2012
    Two in Heaven Thanksgiving 2014 & Summer 2017
    Foster Parent 2010-2014
    Day Care Provider 2014
    Sold my first cake in 2017
    Member Since November 30, 2012

 
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